Today was a rough day. Not that the school work was difficult, or that I had a big BIG project coming, that panic is being reserved for next week. I was waiting out front of class for a friend just like I do every Monday and Wednesday since August 27th, and when he didn't show up for class, I sent a text to make sure he was ok. Well, as we are going through the rest of the Baroque period and listening to Vivaldi (one of my favorite composers) I was making sure to take good notes so that I could email them for our quiz on Monday. We almost always listen together before the quiz to make sure that the music is fresh in our memories and have a better shot at passing. Well, today after class I learned there was a very good reason he was not in class Monday or today. The text I received was from his girlfriend informing me of his passing away on Monday morning.
I don't know why his passing away is bothering me so bad today, maybe it is because it was unexpected or I was looking forward to seeing him at class time because we were always chatting before class. Last Wednesday, we were talking about my speech coming up, and he was helping by pointing out the flaws in my speech. We had joked about him playing devils' advocate. I had to email the teacher to let him know that my friend David had passed away. For a little while I listened to my audio book while checking on facebook to see what happened and post my condolences to his family. The only reason I didn't leave school was that there was a debate over government vs anarchy and I wanted to hear what was said.
Lately, I have been lost in the shadows, and I now know the terrible truth. The shadows have teeth and they will eat you if you are not strong enough to fight back. I moved in with Mom the last weekend of September because we both need help. She needed to get back on her feet, and I didn't realize what kind of deposit I needed for renting a house. The idea was move in for three to four months and then move back out on our own and then Mom should be back on her feet as well.
Thinking that everything would go alright, I started to get a little excited about the move. The kid would have their own rooms, we would have a room, there is a back yard, and I would be right down the road form school. Sounds great doesn't it! yeah right.....*sigh*
I was at school when I received a call from my Aunt Amber. I have been formally summoned by my Grandma and Grandpa Paslay. Since they are the biggest part of the family hierarchy there is no getting around it. So, we agreed to cut off early the Friday to meet with them. As we guessed, we were asked about helping Mom with some of her bills, and they wanted to make sure that we were not sponging off of her and living for free. That was fine, we went over their suggestions on the apartments and how we should help. Still fine, family should help family. That is the way it should be, and I believe it would be enormously unfair to move in and saddle Mom with all the extra bills.
Well, I had a speech coming up about child molestation, and the Friday night, my nephew calls. I have been chatting with him on facebook, but the last time I saw or heard from him was 4 years ago before taking Faith to the ER and the state filing charges. Fine, whatever I got this, I can handle this. Oh I was so wrong!
So, I get to school on Monday and it is the middle of October. We have been living with Mom for 2 weeks, re-tiled one of her apartments, been advertising trying to get it rented, worked for over 4 weeks without so much of a half day to relax. Hubby is on severe meltdown, Mom is cranky and over stressed, the kids are starting to get antsy about everything and snipe at each other. Everything is building to one horrid crescendo of misery when after music class, my Grandma calls and announces that there is over $3000 due on the house payments (they are the lien holders) and we need to figure out how to pay that. Well Shit! What the hell am I supposed to do?!? End result, well I botched the speech because I started having flash backs and a major panic attack. I fled the room feeling like an idiot, and emailed the Professor to let him know what happened.
Ok, can't get much worse right? Ah, but that is when it is the most fun for things to go wrong! The week after the panic attack and everything, I get home after school to find the city of Fort Worth pet division parked outside the house. Mom was getting cited for having too many cats.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was a few weeks ago. I really need to learn how to finish some of these. Particulary with how fast time flies as it is now the Monday past Thanksgiving. Well, to end my tirad of misery above, all hell broke loose it is still working itself out. The cat issue is under control, I still miss my friend, and all my speeches are done for the semester. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment